The Moonlight of My Life

Your light of love filters
Through my transparent Heart,
Fills my empty winter
With warmth of joy and mirth.

Your peals of innocent laughter
Rings in my ears like fairy whispers,
Magical, melodious; softer
Than the  first fall of snow showers.

You move like a water lily;
Your body teases me all day,
And my whole being readily
Goes soft with every sway.

You are the moonlight of my life,
Where you rise to bring light
In darkness and always strive
To safely put to sleep, the night.

A feeling

I made up my mind to say
All the words gathered for you along the way;
I put it into a single one
For they all point to the same one.
Let me ask you if you know
What is that I am going to show?
It is within my heart and in my mind;
It's a feeling, deep and blind,
Which I want to reveal
To you and want you to feel.
Tell me what will you do
If I tell you that I love you?

Freedom and You

“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first.”

                                                                                    ― Jim Morrison

You cannot think of ‘Freedom’. Freedom is something you should feel when you give up on what you desire, your faith and your role. Can freedom ever be achieved? That is the question I am going to seek. I do not know if there is an answer or if I am ever going to find it. I will start with the ideas that make our mind believe that we are free (but the reality is far from it). Where is your freedom? Where does it lie?

You leave your freedom on the doorsteps of your office, on the yard of your temple and at the threshold of your house. You are a slave of your roles, responsibilities and duties. You exchange your freedom for a role in a society. Your freedom is exchanged for money. Your freedom is even exchanged for your life; as they say 'death sets you free'.

They say, "freedom is doing what you want to do". In the modern world we have the rights. But are we really free just because we can do what we want to? Where is the freedom that we enjoy? You live in a world where you are woken in the morning by the sound of an alarm clock, a predetermined force, that binds you in a routine from the very start of the day. You wake up with a purpose fed by and linked to another entity. You wake up not for yourselves but for something that is compelling you to. You snooze your alarm once, twice.. but can you ignore it forever? The clock of inevitability starts ticking and you know you are going to be a wound up toy for the rest of the day.

You travel to your destination. You give up your freedom of direction for a sense of convergence. The road is a fixed one, the result is known and the circumstances understandable. There is no exploration because there is no time. You are leashed to your desk, your cubicle... to your work. Pull it apart and your whole system breaks down.

You are born with a faith that you are branded with; a second skin that you cannot peel off easily. Fight it and it drags you down to a place where you lose your identity and without identity there is no meaning of freedom. You are bound to play an act; your action defines you without any individuality. It is a collective responsibility where you are a part of and bound by social responsibilities.

You have a family. You play your role in it. You have your responsibilities. You are bound by those responsibilities where you cannot let the wild notion of freedom run chaos among the order of life. We are bound to do what is put to us by the circumstances of time and rely upon the fulfillment of the purpose to define ourselves rather than give definition of our own purpose.

You have your role, you have your duties, you have your faith... you have your life and even death gives you no freedom. Death takes away your freedom to live.

Where is your freedom?

Give me a moment

Give me a moment to speak,
A moment to show;
It is your heart that I seek
And to make you know.

Why do you doubt me?
Why do you fear the false?
When the truth is there to see,
I will be there whenever your heart calls.

True Heart

If lies I loved I would give you one,
One is less I would give you two.
I would like to give and be gone
And make everything normal too.
I think I will just have to say nought
Like I never talked the same;
Walk away without getting what was sought
Leave and never play the game.
Hope you take the truth and see
Through my eyes and believe,
How it was meant to be
And let it not deceive.

The compass of my Heart

You are the compass of my heart
That points to that happy world,
Where my soul learns to breathe
The air of pure love.

You are the compass of my heart
That points to that silent river of hope,
Where my pain silently floats away
Leaving behind the better things.

You are the compass of my heart
That points to that lofty mountain,
Where my faith lies
Always higher and above all.

Love's Impatience

The hour and the minute hands
Coincided to end my working day
It's already dark, I am far away
From her, heart full of impatience

A puff from a cigarette doesn't help
To soothe the feelings that wrap me,
Of distant pining and of passions free;
Murmurs in my ears, of my other self.

With hasty steps I reach the station
But the steps are lined with two queues long
Each step, slow. Pushed back strong,
Made me look for another option.

Pushed through the crowd
With all my might, to get into the train.
Time put too much strain
Proved its strength, out loud.

Distance is a magnet
That pushes the ones apart,
To the closeness of heart;
Where love had once met.

There she was in front of me;
With eyes that can heal one
Make all tired feelings gone.
And in her world I let myself free.

The Child

Peals of laughter, a smile full of innocence,
Small hands and a soft feathery touch.
Incomprehensible but an anapestic gurgle
Of words, that morphs doldrums' clutch
To a sweet embrace of involuntary exuberance.

The Love of Death

Fear no more the heat o' the sun;
Nor the furious winter's rages,
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone, and ta'en thy wages

- William Shakespeare

We are siblings of pleasure. Life is one big moment grown out of lust; formed from pleasure. It is one hypocritical form of accepting our breeding for desires, where the heavy, murky waters of wants flow to feed our thirst. All those emotions attached to life are parts of one big illusion, which entertain our needs for condemning the reality; hiding behind tall fences of creative tricks.

Happiness is one of the biggest chunks of the illusion called life. It is a temporary anodyne like a drug. But once you get addicted to it, there is nothing but its antithesis that you will suffer. It is a trap to trick our gullible minds. Fools, we are, to search for it, feeling elated to find its masked appearance providing a push of its vile needle, full of disguised feeling. Then its poison slowly flows in the veins of pleasure building a veil of false ecstasy, which when lifted from the eyes of reality shows its ugly head. Happiness is the root cause of despair. If happiness was never there, nobody would have felt the lack of it. And where there is despair there is the desire for Death.

Death is an escape from the trap of time. The continuous cycle of life, the periodical revolution of similarity is too hard to bear. Change is a deception. It is not as easy as it seems and feels. As long as there is life we come back to the same starting point no matter how big the circle is. What is needed is a breakaway point somewhere. A permanent change is needed to kill this mental boredom. And nothing is tempting than death which offers the opportunity.

Life is a tiresome activity to maintain. It is difficult to breathe incessantly, to keep track of our memories; it weighs down heavily on our body and mind everyday. It climbs onto our back like an incubus. It is like an evil spirit inside us which we can exorcise only through death, the ultimate reliever.

The Valley

The tempting whispers
Of the winds around the corner,
Hiding deep in the mountain folds;
A sweltering stream, that holds
The summer sun in its shimmering
Waters, that happily gurgle and sing.
A bundle of cloud that accompanies
Like a lover, who clings onto
You in a soft embrace and a wet kiss;
Whose soul is of purpose true.

Little Bird

Take flight my little bird;
Fly above very high,
Where they cannot herd
Or prey on dreary lie.

Let your feathers fall
On the ground below;
Like innocent rainfall
And let the lovlings grow.

One day someone will
Reap this harvest;
And let their hearts fill
With reasons best.

The pride

Among  the bushes, a lonely rose standing;
Proudly in its full beauty,
Velvety petals sprinkled with the dew of the morning
Sparkling like pearls scattered in a red sea.

Hurricane of words

A hurricane of words and shoves,like continous rain;
Clinging to a portion of steel luckily free,
I stood in silence, the eye of the hurricane
While the whirlwind of conversations revolved round me

The rush outside

A queue, sometimes two, slow moving
Like an ant-line, worker ants.
Workers of the day, till evening;
Pushed to limits, where impatience vents

Girl, you are crazy

Midnight drunk high
Bid your friends goodbye
Take a look at yourself
Where you gonna be
Nobody loves you
Girl you are crazy

Ride the highway
Never mind your parents say
"One day you'll surely pay
Girl you are crazy"
Nobody loves you
Girl you are crazy

Leave the state
Grab the bait
You'll fall for it
Miss the beat

Girl you are crazy
Nobody loves you yeah yeah yeah
Girl you are crazy

Drugs are cheap
Room full of creeps
Push the needle
Don't bother don't worry
Nobody loves you
Girl you are crazy

Growing old fast
Forget the past
You'll never remember
One day you'll surely see
Nobody loves you
Girl you are crazy

Girl you are crazy
Nobody loves you yeah yeah yeah
Girl you are crazy
Girl you are crazy...

Without a Goodbye

I am all alone now the room filled with smoke
Morning rays lit it up like gray clouds in sky
You left me here covered in a silent cloak
I knew one day you'll leave me without a goodbye

My mind grew heavy, i'm down on the cold floor
Around me broken glass and shattered dreams lie
I am surrounded by darkness and my heart is sore
I knew one day you'll leave me without a goodbye

I don't care anymore about the red eyes and tears
Even if it was better when my eyes were dry
One day I will learn to leave behind my fears
I knew one day you'll leave me without a goodbye

A Lover's Repentance

Through my palette of dreams
I drew a masterpiece of love's art;
Alas! my heart resonated with the screams
Of agony which love brings when it goes apart.
Now i think what is love to me?
And why it took me so deep?
For,of all the things that we see,
Dreams, they are true till one is asleep.
I had plunged myself into an abyss
Of whose end,it cannot be seen.
And of all the things that now I miss;
Mostly is the person that i had been.
When a heart cannot hear
What a heart wants to say.
What heart can ever bear
That pain which it has to pay.

Last Temptation

Death, you shall lie naught,
Where your darkest temptations lie;
You are mysteriously sought
When life has given up to try.
You patiently wait and wait
Like a lure floating on water,
For life to take your bait
And choke in your snare.

In your Place

Let me step into your little place
Let me take shelter from the race;
Rewind the clock and say
That there is more time for me to stay,
I don't know which way one day I will face.

Let me sit by your loving side,
Don't let me know what you decide;
Just tell a story and I will believe
And in that moment I will purely live
Who knows how time will bide.

Let me look into your lovely eyes,
Let me know what secret in there lies;
With sweet whispers like a dove
Let your lips speak of love
Words become lighter when the lips sigh.

Let me be in your peaceful shelter
There is much I want to share
Remake moments with you, of the past
Make new moments that would last;
For some moments are like treasures rare.

Innocent Pleasure

Sweet as nectar, a taste of her lips
Spreads sweetness under the sheet;
Pleasure unknown lies around her hips,
Melts like butter in summer heat.
Her hands are like silk from china, smooth;
One touch and she says it all;
Her moans, your ears they soothe
Like the voices of doves when they call.
Little by little love rises from the deep
And puts me in a dream lesser known,
All the passion that I always dormant keep
Came up active like a volcano blown.

The disappearance of God - the making of an Atheist

"I called thee and there was no answer."

I see truth and it forms a vision in front of me. I hear words and it mingles with the distant murmuring. And I just fade away.

I was born and you branded me with a name, you people, you, made a character out of me, put me in a role before I understood the act.

Maybe that is why I cried out loud when I was born, maybe out of defiance, maybe out of hate for these rituals that is going to cling into me like a second skin which i cannot peel off. Maybe that was why I was afraid to open my eyes with fear of what I might see. I was innocent.

Humans, we live in  a Society. We call it a gathering of the like minded. Why do you want me to be like you? I do not want to be like you. You made kneel so I could kiss the sky. I would rather kiss the ground beneath me. To there you will go with me in the end. Did it help you then? Did it help you now? Didn't we die the same death? You were the one who taught me the vices. Now you are the one who frown at me. If this is your religion then what is your faith? if this your faith then what is your religion?

I tried to walk the path you told me about. The enchanted one. The one that leads to the fulfillment of our purpose. But what is the purpose? Why are you confused when I ask you that question? You want me to be two persons at the same time. I am but one. My mind is my soul, my body is my heart. Are they not one? Why do you try to separate them? Do one man live to support different purposes. If I have to be blind, why do I have these eyes.

You say there is an Eye in the Sky. The Master who we cannot see. How am I suppose to serve a master whom I cannot see? Isn't that being selfish, being person who desires. Carnal or not desires are for the same purpose. We don't know the reason why we should do but we want the end result. You want the fruit of the tree you planted no matter how less you cared for the tree. And if the tree does not bear any fruit you see it as a misfortune or a result of some greedy eyes. Or because there is evil in it. Where is your conscience now?

You asked me to believe in something which you called "faith". You asked me to be weak in my mind. And when I remained idle to prove that I have "faith" and that "faith" shall provide you said i am not good for anything. What hypocrisy is this? Now tell me are you not a confused one.

I was there always believing that the best would come out of it, for the words were golden, honey coloured, sweet and tempting. Did you not tempt me with those words. Wasn't you the one who called evil things to be tempting. Why do you tempt me now of freedom of Heaven? And if you want me to believe in your words why force me with the terror of  the future and not with just the love of the present. So you want "faith" without trust.

I've seen times of darkness before my eyes. Where is your light now? Where are the miracles I have heard of? Now if you say our purpose is a test, why tell the result beforehand. Let it be a purposeful test. What your religion destroyed more, your evil destroyed lesser. Your religion hates me more without reason than my inner evil, as you call, hates your religion with reason.

A Proposal for the introduction of a new Idea to understand some stupid situations better

A thing has been bothering me for sometime. We all know the whole human world is basically divided into two ideas- the absolute and the relative.Here idea,in the philosophical sense, maybe perceptive or non perceptive. Ideas like persons, a particular book, the moon, the sun, etc, etc. are absolute and that's a known fact, nearly. Also ideas like Love, happiness, fear, greed,etc. etc. are all relative ones... they differ from entity to entity. Now sometimes i come across some stupid situations but they don't provide me with the sufficient facts to be able to put it in just any of the both ideas singly, because they can be described in both ways. Like we take the example of being drunk. Now when a person is drunk he really doesn't know how much he is drunk so he might think he is not at all drunk, he is a bit drunk or he is heavily drunk. Let us put this drunk man in front of a sober man. the sober man will give him an absolute answer. Now let us put this drunk man in front of another drunk man. We get a real problem here, but still for convenience let us suppose one thinks he is heavily drunk and the other thinks he is not at all drunk. So the the person who thought he was heavily drunk will now begin to think by looking at the other person that he is not that heavily drunk and lower his drunk measure and start thinking he is just a bit drunk. This is a relative idea of the first person with respect to the second person. Now of course to realize a solution to such types we need a new idea. So i would like to propose a new idea the "realative"... It's neither totally absolute nor totally relative. It's a mixture of both.

Dostoevsky and the Philosophy of Crime

crime

/krīm/

Noun

1. An action or omission that constitutes an offense that may be prosecuted by the state and is punishable by law.


2. Illegal activities: "the victims of crime".

According to the dictionary, Crime is an act of breaking the law, a static and constant guideline  for maintaining equilibrium in the society. So a Criminal is someone who does not follow these constant guidelines and makes a detour from these ways. Someone who once in a while got bored of routine and decided to pick up the gun and blow off someone's head. Okay, maybe that was a bit too Tarantoic illustration of the idea, but let us extrapolate from here towards a wider philosophic extraction .

In his novel, Crime  and Punishment, Dostoevsky reveals a rather surprising comparison between ingenuity and crime as stated in Raskolnikov's article. In the article, he divides the human race into two classes; the ordinary and the extraordinary. The purpose of the ordinary is just mere reproduction, by which occasionally an extraordinary man arises. This extraordinary man, at times may believe to have the right or even the duty to destroy anything that comes in the path of their ideas. In other words, he is not afraid to change the way things are.  Therefore one can basically define him as being similar to a criminal. Let us pause our thoughts for a moment and travel back in time; back to the moment when Galileo revealed his discovery that the Earth moved round the sun and not conversely. Galileo was fully aware about the consequences of his revelations and how it will be reciprocated negatively. But still he did not back down from what he believed in and destroyed every idea that was there before and trampled on it willingly, making a mockery of those contemporary beliefs. And then he was condemned as a 'criminal'. I agree with it, I mean the term criminal. He was a criminal. He broke routine and brought chaos to the minds of the ordinary.

We are all great believers of Routine where our philosophy is bound by a fixed strategy and our whole life revolves around it. We hate it when anything goes a bit off the track. In other words we hate changes made to our life. We even ridicule people who does things in a different way. But once in a while there comes someone in our life who just changes our whole viewpoint by force and if it's beneficial to us we call him a genius but if it somehow doesn't turn out to be we brand him as a criminal for making it happen. We detest that person but wasn't the core idea of both the person same. So what made one criminal and the other not.

So that's where Raskolnikoff's article prettily points out how we can say a little bit of crime is needed for a desired effect. It depends upon you, how you take the crime

Companion

 

This is the story of a smile
Which lingered alone for a while
Then suddenly into laughter it grew
And burst into a myriad of hue

The Judgement of Truth

A person's life is based upon its consequences. Our bodily form may be long removed from the world, our faces long forgotten but the deeds our life performed remains fragmented in others memories. These fragments are arranged and cited as examples of success or failure, a source of inspiration or prophetic judgment. It takes the form of a story where the facts are fixed by the adequacies of resources presented by time and situation. But time and situation are not constant factors and the proper judgment of a story doesn't rely on them. As time goes by the shape of the story gets changed from mouth to mouth and even a recorded event fails to capture the reality, when the situation proves to be difficult and the event is such that only a few gets affected by it.

So on which path Truth treads in every man's story is just hard to assume. We all sometimes, find ourselves in a situation where we are faced with the uncertainty of making a proper decision which can go in either way. It is easy to make a judgment. We just have to make a choice based upon some decisions. But what matters is the consequences that particular judgment can make. Because maybe our decisions were incorrect, what we saw was a trick played by situation and time.  So how do we judge what is true?

Most of the time we take judgment on our own hands describing the situation as it fulfills and satisfies our own motives. Sometimes we are mistaken. In either way we create an epicenter of a lie from which repercussions spread over a period of time creating chaos of the situation. I've found myself in such situations sometimes where I am just unable to judge anything because the situation does not provide any proper resources for the judgment of an act. But the volatile and erring human mind is bound to get tricked by such situations. I made mistakes, i judged, i judged wrongly. Now those judgments sometimes still affect me, still creates a feeling of how ignorant we are and how small we are before the mighty Truth.

We can never make the perfect judgment of Truth. We better let Truth run its own course and make its own story. It will tell its own story loud and clear. What we need is a little bit of patience. To make judgment is not what we are here for. We are here to receive the judgment of our own acts.

The Pessimist

He who thinks that tomorrow
Is the harbinger of another sorrow;
Sees the world devoid of light
And that's the cause of all his plight.

What can be stranger than reality?

The strangest mysteries are associated with the unpredicted nature. Otherwise the Bermuda triangle would have been a joke instead of a mystery. Life gives us enough time to experience mysteries, sometimes too often. The irony lying inside it is that life itself is a mystery revealing only to itself that the common things that manifests to it are sometimes just obscured to a pattern of uncertainty. Hence the strangeness. Alien is a word that brings in mind the first thoughts about unknowing, ignorance... but it's truly an unjustified feeling as sometimes the very things known to us may leave us with a certain air of strangeness. I am not trying to prove anything here but instead confused with the thing that i am sometimes not able to answer about myself that makes me a stranger in my mind.

Time, Life and Individuality

One thing about time is that you cannot measure it just by the conceivable amount of happenings or incidences that takes place in a person’s lifetime. It teases, sometimes even tantalizes with its unobstructed unidirectional flow. But what can we say about life? Is it just the passage of time or a chronological compulsion, revolving around the substantial entity of life itself better known as destiny? Whatever way it may be defined as, life takes us back to the elementary and natural urge to create the state of uniqueness that describes the individuality of us. Since the time we were born, as we grow up, the bits and pieces of our unique behavior, character and body language that we gather up along the ages demarcates each of us individuals in a spontaneous process of life. So when we reach the age where our maturity reaches the level of saturation, we sometimes find ourselves alienated from the deepest bonding of human interaction and become mere participants to some social contracts.

At a young age when our tender brains just forms the ability of thinking it creates a curiosity of the very formation of life itself. When I was young there was one question that would run inside my mind very often. It was the creation of every existence. Well, even now I haven’t got the answer. But one thing I understood it’s not the answer that matters when we consider the various spectrum of incidences that our life experiences. I realized that I simply have no time to think about it. As I grew up I assumed some kind of theory for it and it was forgotten. Life can be argued to be just like that, an assumed theory or even a hypothesis. Whenever there is any kind of discrepancies or controversies in life we assume the best possible solution and move on with it. We cannot define life by any formula where we are supposed to get an expected result. It's something which we adapt ourselves, creating an ever changing environment where we find ourselves comfortable even in the most confusing and enigmatic situation. This is the answer to all those who are intrigued by the fact that some people do the craziest of things in life just because they think that it is a very good idea. And when it has been done even time can't stop from praising the person it's achievement of becoming someone unique in his world.

Life has its own way of describing the moments that we live. It does not separate nor differentiates people in an argument the way we generally put forward. It is stubborn and puts its own ideas before us and with the help of time it makes a mockery of our ideas and simply leaves us dangling in a situation where we have to believe in things we never bothered to. But the most amazing part of life is that it always maintains the individuality of each person as I have mentioned. So it gives us the opportunity to compare ourselves with everything that makes us different. That's where our mind encapsulates the idea of formation of an imaginarium of new thoughts. It transcends itself in to that of a level of neo-aesthetic terra incognita yet effects to, understandably, a simpler and nearly impeccable meaning called destiny.

Time, life and the individuality are inter-related in an involuntary one way process in which we are only a part but we can choose the way.

A speck of Light then Darkness Everywhere

Twenty add two years more

Gave me no reasons, had none before

Days come and doesn't last long

Took my age with it along

Happiness is but a twisted smile

Somewhere in the bend of life stayed a while

The corners are dark and dry

Can't tell a laughter from a cry

When half spent nights grew younger

And another year has grown colder

There's one star to guide and enlight

Which in the darkness still a speck of light